I was picturing an empty can with a single bean at the bottom.

INNOCENT PATRIOT HAS GLASS SHARDS SHOVED INTO HIS HAND BY ELIZABETH WARREN

Team Pence Tries and Miserably Fails to Clean Up His Irish Shitshow

this is where a tough-as-nails closer is supposed to slam the door on a dipshit rally by a team with no business winning a baseball game. That is very much not what happened.

Definitely. Only those knowledgeable of the DEEP Highlights lore know that Goofus is a familiar for a cadre of vampires who are attempting to disrupt human society.

1. I assume the car was just trying to go to a place of safety before it immolated.

Be like Gallant:

If you bring your own chicken carcass and buns to Popeye’s, they can still make you a chicken sandwich.

How about instead of $10 Billion, just take all of their money and all the money from selling off their assets.  Also all of the execs will be drained of 2 pints of blood.

Somehow Arlington is both in the middle of nowhere and also a traffic nightmare.

“That’s deep, bro”

I love that park too, but Arlington is terrible.  I'm glad you got to visit it before it's closed.

Please clarify - Buffalo wing flavored Ruffles, or buffalo flavored Ruffles?

I’m a Millennial who goes to multiple baseball games per season. I’d go to more if Arlington, TX wasn’t so terrible.

I’m not sure what’s going on with the picture so I have to assume your problem with baseball is butt touching?

Dan “Dan the Man” Damman III

It’s exactly Good Will Hunting but instead of writing math equations on the blackboard, he just writes “What if Cheetos were spicy?”.

It’s the same thing living in Texas where I can go to any number of amazing taco shops and I still wind up at Taco Bell from time to time.

Acutally, let me quote you from the FDA’s own regulations