I got got, too. James is too good at this game.

OH, dammit James. I don’t know if I can ever trust again.  Is it still satire if it’s indistinguishable from reality?

A white Christmas, huh?

“I wore a blue shirt once. It had a collar. That’s what that means, right? I don’t get what the big deal is.”

I assume the Eggplant emoji will have a starring role?

Secret twist: you’re the island.

No, not me, still in quotation marks. Thanks for your concern, though.

“I’m not supporting him, but I’m also not un-endorsing him. I thought about it, but then I realized the #1 most imporant rule of politics: ‘No Backsies’. So I think that speaks for itself.

He looked like a big gorilla prowling the set

So now Trump has torpedoed the careers of two Bushes, Billy and JEB!. Is Barbara putting on her ass-kicking boots, or just holding JEB! while he cries into her arms?

First they came for the Vape Bros, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Vape Bro

But they still got the balloons and streamers for the crew, just out of camera view.

He’s so presidential I think I might vomit.

“Oh, boy! What will it be today - MeUndies, Harry’s, Casper or Blue Apron?”

Puns?

It’s as close as I’m going to be able to get without taking a power drill to the temple.

“I heard the other day - can you believe this? - I heard a rumor that Hillary actually sleeps for an entire 7 or 8 hours every night! Can you believe that, folks? Sleeping so much? She’s so lazy, how can she ever get anything done? Now me, I’m so very healthy, I only sleep 1-2 hours every other week. That’s all!…