Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

A Story of Few Words: A Sexy Haiku

TLDR

Peeing in public has many advantages.

THANK YOU, Bernie Sanders. Imma gonna go donate 5 dollars right now.

I find the unrelenting passage of time to be alarming as well so I’m going to have to side with the police on this one.

Her crying baby is INCREDIBLE

PHRASING!

I own 3 stethoscopes, and used all of them during the course of my bedside nursing career. I bought the first one when I was accepted into nursing school, since it was part of the “required uniform” for student nurses. If I showed up to clinicals without it, I would be sent home. When I graduated and accepted a…

I want to place a bet that Barack “No Fucks” Obama smokes a cigarette during his next State of the Union.

I try to explain this at least once a week on Jezebel and I never even make a dent.

This isn’t about Republicans, this is about Catholics. There’s not actually a huge amount of overlap between those groups.

The first time my bestie flew she was with me, she started freaking out so badly I couldn’t keep her still and we hadn’t even taken off we were just then taxying to our runway. Being an amazing friend I did what any reasonable person would do:

Once, I was flying from LA to St. Louis and a woman took a dumb in the aisle seat. Not shit herself, not had an accident due to a horrible medical condition: she stood up, walked over to a guy, dropped trou, and shit right into the seat next to him.

so there is this

OK but like, I loved that whole interview and he is cuddly and I don’t care about anyone of you who hates him. It’s fine. That was cute. I would talk behind my computer to cover my embarrassment, too. And then also spray face spritz in my mouth without reading the label properly.

This is the best exchange in the entire thread.

Mothers can do literally nothing that pleases the world.

And if you end up dead while pregnant, well, we’ll just strap you into an IV and keep your body incubating that fetus.