So unprepared. So scared of what was happening with my body. Meanwhile I'm sitting in the bathtub (because twelve) on the phone with my mom mortified that I even had to say the word "period" to my dad, let alone have him go shopping for it in the cold blue filter of night.

I'm willing to bet money that is EXACTLY how it went down.

That dude sounds like a gem and a half.

It is his favourite story to tell my male cousins who all have daughters. "Just wait, one day, late at night, it'll come and it'll be just you there. And then you'll have to go to the store." Like he marched into some kind of battle or something. My dads a pretty silly guy.

Literally he had ALL THE THINGS, and he didn't even try and buy something around the house, there was no way to discreetify (I just invented that word) his check-out. He owned the moment. And when he came back he saw my horrified face at all the bags just shrugged like "yeah well now you have a surplus".

:( I hate that story. I'm sorry you had to go through that!

You done showed her.

Basically. He even had a ron swanson-esque mustache at the time. Yikes. My affinity for Ron Swanson has now been swathed in a new, creepy light. Thanks.

Mine was just humourous. I of course had my first period at my father's house (split time half and half), and it was literally night one of my week with him, and I remember having cramps and not knowing what was going on. It's 11pm (and I'm what - 11, 12?) so when I get up my dad can hear me around upstairs and is…

Since no one else has said it yet, my favourite quote from Saved! comes to mind "Talk about being hung on a cross..."

Beyond the need for a conversation about gun control my heart aches for his wife and new baby and will now need to go get all of these twigs and branches out of my eyes.

Right?! Who wants to fuck a cute woodland and/or aquatic creature? WOMEN LOVE CUTE SHIT RIGHT THEY'LL WANT TO FUCK A TEDDY BEAR IN THE FACE. I really hope this is a troll.

I won't even get one of those vibrators where the dolphin rubs up on your clit, whyinthehell would I get a teddy bear to rub myself all over? This is just weird.

I fucking cackled at this.

WHY IS THERE VIDEOTAPE OF THIS? For fucks sake...

Happy tears. The happiest.

Don't think its gonna be a problem.

Thank you.

A friendly reminder y'all, don't feed the trolls. Also, Laverne Cox. <3

#notallfeministspiders