Miley seriously needs a twerk intervention... someone needs to lovingly, caringly explain to her that she has White Girl Butt. There's nothing wrong with white girl butt, mind you... White Girl Butt is a fine and wonderful thing... and Miley's is just cute as a button. But Miley, darlin'... you have nothing to…

I never, ever thought I'd feel sorry for a group of multi-platinum artists who own their own islands and stuff; but DAMN, the second-hand embarassment I feel from just watching that performance must only reflect 1% of what they felt sitting there having to watch it in person. Just... Wow. Those poor people. Never…

Me witnessing that atrocity: