My relatives also love to get a rise out of “libtards,” and I just don’t get it. Like, when I am forced to spend time with you, I am really careful to stick to safe topics and never, ever try to provoke you, mostly because I don’t want to be horrified by and scared of the things that will inevitably come out of your…

At some point it’s a mental illness thing. There’s clearly something wrong with him and he apparently can’t help himself.

Hang out with the little kids, the most politics they’ll cover is briefly parroting whatever their parents say, which lets you know which grown ups to avoid talking to in the food line.

I don’t know, but some of the towns here are what I, a lifelong northerner, would imagine the south is like. I don’t understand where it comes from. North Adams, when you exclude certain Mass MoCA type things, is pretty bad - like dudes in wife-beaters driving pick-up trucks with those big back window decals of…

My entire family is voting for Trump (except for me of course). At a recent event, basically all they talked about was how “Killary” has seizures, is taking foreign money and how she will destroy the economy. Nevermind that Trump is mentally unfit to be president, is indebted to the Bank of China/Deutsche Bank (among…

My inlaws do that. Not just on politics but any topic. They’ve taken my husband to lunch before, by himself, to lecture him about being disrespectful to them by stating his opinion. He’s 45.

I used to live in Louisiana, and I can tell you that Southerners are only nice if you fit a very narrow mold and follow a specific protocol. They have no tolerance for anyone who deviates from their established way of doing things. I would never live in the South again.

Bingo. The world will not be this way within the reach of my arm. I sure as shit am not giving my time and care to bigoted people. I have no time for toxicity. Too busy trying to make this world a better place.

I know, but if you’re clever with it, you can convince people of a concept that they would absolutely not agree to otherwise.

I’ve started just going “I TOTALLY agree” and then stating the opposite opinion. It’s hilarious. People are like “I don’t think you understood me...” and then you can be like “Oh my goodness, you’re so right” and restate your opposite opinion. People have no idea what to do.

Honestly, I would move or find a profession/social activity that would have like-minded people in it.

This shit right here! I have several people in my life who act this way and I’m like, “You realize you’re an adult essentially saying ‘na-na-na! I can’t hear you!’, right?”

Chant loser, loser, loser back at him. Then in November ask him how it feels to have picked the losing side.

• Put your phone to your ear and say, “I have to take this—it’s my mortician,” and walk away.

Given that nothing they do will change him or help him win, I just assumed they were all in it for the payday. I mean, who doesn’t want a 6-figure job where literally nothing you do matters?

The PPA does love to boot cars with an excess of tickets, so you may want to keep an eye on that if you're in the area.

Just don’t ever post a video online of a cop sitting anyone or you will have someone show up at your current employer with a warrant for that unpaid ticket. They did that to a guy in Atlanta because someone on Facebook gave him a video of the Baton Rouge shooting to post. They arrested him over whatever area bolo (be…

The first time it was a $200 bottle of cologne. No, I’m not that type but it was a gift from a girlfriend and post 9/11 I couldn’t carry it on. I thought “eh, maybe the [then fledgeling] TSA grabbed it because it registers as flammable”. Filed a claim, never paid out.

That’s because you are a fucking moron as you have proven time and time again by opening your mouth.

For everyone that thinks you have a right to patrol or control other drivers in any way...