As a fake internet attorney, let me preemptively address the knotty legal arguments from those who would ask “What about his right to free speech?”: Shut the fuck up you fucking idiot

“she showed me the blood coming down from her elbow,” Porter said. “It looked real purple and red and it looked like there was a hole in her jacket.”

Mike Matheny praised the fan for taking the bullet “the right way,” noting that glory boy fans in Chicago or Kansas City would’ve demanded a stoppage to the game and drawn much more attention to themselves.

Even the fucking dog has enough sense to get behind some cover.

He’s an American, you idiot.

1/10 troll job

This take is bad and you’re a bad person.

Machado was born in Florida, genius.

Lol, no. He didn’t. He executed a normal pop up slide used all the time in baseball. Confirmation bias is a hell of a drug.

You’re actually an idiot.

Between the Laroche kid situation and this, Chris Sale is Brian McCann levels of baseball douche

Ladies and gentlemen, we have some grade A full retard beef.

There’s no way to stop a determined burglar, so might as well give him keys to the house.

Waffles.

The actual correct answer is french toast.

[Obligatory “X-Pac Heat” joke]

Waltman was flagged by a Customs and Border Protection watch list for potential drug carriers

It does not happen with the regularity it happens at Fenway and in Boston in general. We are talking about a consistent level of harassment of people of color complete with racial epithets.

I have been to my fair share of baseball games in Oakland and San Francisco. Never have I heard the n-word thrown around. Especially loud enough for the goddamn center fielder to hear. Fuck that racist bullshit.