Man it’s like a Mad Libs (expanded to 10x normal length) using cricket terminology.

Who knew Harvard was the model for ‘School of Hard Knockers,’ the movie Homer uses as a guide before re-entering college? Well, 99% of the early Simpsons writers were Harvard grads, I guess I should have surmised.

ARE THERE NO POORHOUSES

Person in industry where employees paid in Internet Recognition Fun Bucks complains about overly platitudinous CEO who did not bankrupt his company with stupid lawsuits.

“The people made murderously angry by somebody not choosing to stand for the national anthem at sporting events and yet who consider the nation’s Constitution apart from the 2nd Amendment utterly disposable.”

Goddamn, cricket is more exciting than I gave it credit for

Don’t worry about giving the Browns fans something to show up for, Hue, if you actually started winning they would start to panic and throw themselves off the top of the stadium.

It’s only fair, the thing he grabbed kept him out of Vietnam (he showed up to his Army physical, disheveled, having pissed himself among other instances of self-neglect)

In the words of another famous Howard, I’m milquetoast as hell and there’s a very high probability that I will continue to take it.

So is this the reality show dealing with Adam West going to nerd conventions on the 50th anniversary of the Batman TV series?

This is more David Mamet-ian, the constant repeating and restating.

“Charlie, I can’t understand why I’m getting Filet-0-Fished over this, it’s just a Big Macunderstanding leading to my approval rating taking a Quarter Pounding.”

Well I for one am sure glad the Texans committed $40M guaranteed money to an interception-throwing stork in lieu of drafting or developing QB talent of their own.

Running an Air Raid in the NFL is almost as inexplicable as running an air raid on Dresden, a town with no manufacturing and whose primary output was porcelain.

I have no idea what caused him to be graded a day 2 (3?) talent; he had 29 TDs and 5 INTs his senior season while playing half his games against the SEC West, and single-handedly made the Bulldogs relevant. I think he had a DUI arrest in the offseason (later acquitted), but for shit’s sake there’s hardly any QB talent…

“Look, Bill, it’s only the middle of the third quarter and the fans are all leaving the game in protest.”

Three names to remember as your reactionary acquaintances slander the life of an important pioneer today: John Ashcroft, Alberto Gonzales, Michael Mukasey

Not only does the Trump candidacy/potential administration fulfill all fourteen defining characteristics of fascism as laid out by Dr. Lawrence Britt, it explores a few fascist categories Britt never thought of.

We tried to arrest Christie but apparently he went out for McDonald’s and never came back.

On cold nights the only thing that keeps me warm is booze and the fact that Pete Chilcutt has more rings than Stockton, Malone, and Barkley combined.