Aug 2

She said I had a disappointingly small organ. I told her I wasn’t expecting to play in St. Paul’s Cathedral...’

Aug 1

When I was your age, we had to jerk off with rotary phones. And just a few generations ago, if you wanted to jerk off, you had to go wait in line at the telegram office. 

Jul 31

If Trump cared about American national security he’d immediately resign.

Jul 31

This man had no idea what TikTok was until the teens using it ruined his Tulsa rally. This is petty revenge, plain and simple. It has nothing to do with national security. 

Jul 31

That’s what I was thinking. Is it every gearheads dream to drive an F1 car, or a top fuel dragster? Of course. But we would all most likely die nearly instantly. I would be scared shitless to just hop in an F1 car and drive it. Mostly for the safety of the other drivers, but secondarily because of the millions of the Read more

Jul 30

If they can’t find a driver, I’m free this weekend. I can be in the UK by tomorrow. Just throwing it out there...

Jul 25

Superman: “I’m assuming you’re Alfred.”
“No you fool, I’m Ozymandias, and I have sealed your fate!
Then he shoots him with a Kryptonite bullet to the heart.
Supes dies.
The End.

Jul 25

I hear the visual beauty argument a lot, but I don’t know. The weird depth aspect and muddled CGI of his movies never worked for me. I get what he was going for, but it never struck as me as beautiful the way, say, Lord of the Rings was.