This is satire, right?

“That’s a team that could win 7 games, easy.”

(((Millennial)))

Messi: I have decided to retire from the Argentina national team.

Not entirely correct. While the vandalism and fighting is really nothing new to the tailgating experience in Orchard Park, nudity mercifully isn’t. Nobody wants to see Zeeb from Cheektowaga show off the li’l Losman.

Black Panther vs. the Black Panthers vs. The Florida Panthers: WHO WOULD WIN?

Ebert was such a good writer. When he literally lost his voice due to his jaw cancer surgeries, he took to blogging and wrote some amazing things. His website is still a trove of great reviews covering about 40 years of his work.

But Drew, I can’t make sense of art if it isn’t translated into a capitalist word salad to help me navigate the modern corporatocracy. Synergy!

These parents definitely don’t know how to raise the Roof(s).

Not sure if it is a better or worse than the classic over-reactionary Bill Haisley attempt

How else can we expect Spurs fans to find the silverware?

Sounds like your self-awareness is really holding you back from a career carrying water for the NFL.

I call bullshit on that meme in my official capacity as an aggressively mediocre white man with no confidence.

Never take credit for anything the Vikings do. It is the “invade Russia” of sports takes. It sounds like a great idea at the time, but in a few months you’re stuck outside, freezing, and wishing for death.

If ever there were a time for the “Lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre white man” meme.

Vikings have a long tradition of marrying themselves to cousins.

Neiko Thorpe and Mike Tyson are not stadiums. They’re bipeds.

And I’m sure that’s exactly what she was trying to say in between her Pall Mall-tainted spittle attacks.

12th man hates 13th amendment.

Well actually, test scores vis-à-vis the rest of the world have not gone up