Jason Momoa’s Aquaman is absolutely my preferred fish man fuck, but I would definitely do The Shape of Water fish man because life is short and I am not afraid of my inner monster fucker.

I keep a red scrunchie in a drawer in case there is ever a question about who is in charge ;)

You know what sucks? Besides the obvious. That even if trump gets kicked out of office and publicly ruined, all this shit has been put out there and exposed for the world to see. If the world was a neighborhood, we’re the family whose dad went outside jerked himself off and then took a huge dump on his next door…

That van has too many windows, and where’s the river?

Shakespeare: “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.”

I found a picture of the impersonator:

she has people for that, cmon

No one’s gonna cop to doing rails in the office bathroom? What a repressive work environment.

A “SUGGESTIVE” style of eating? Damn, it’s a good thing these guys have never seen me eat.....well, anything. Because I Romance the shit out of food. Seriously, I should make a viddy of me giving a baked potato pleasure;)

Holy Crap!

We lost nearly all of the 5 yr olds in the village, that winter of The Incident

Get you someone that makes you feel like Megan & Nick.

I am a big supporter of solutions to problems that involve building a moat

No, but I stared at the rocks long enough that I eventually saw a nice 3D sail boat.

30 years of teaching.

My 12 year old nerdy kid had a sleepover with three other 12 year old boys. I heard a lot of what they said (because god DAMN are they loud) and some of it was really problematic. Yeah, it was my kid and yeah, there were consequences.

That one’s supposedly average boyfriend was also the best looking of the men in the article.

Is this really a life problem that needs to be “hacked”? It never occurred to me that anyone would need written advice on how to fuck, as if there are these poor horny uncoordinated couples walking among us. Fill orifices with appendages. Repeat. It’s not even apple sauce let alone rocket science.

YOUR MOM'S A DISNEY FILM PERHAPS