Come on, Eric Trump has some sweet titties in progress, you cannot shame them!

You know who says something like “rejiggering?”

Latino Americans *and* Hispanic Americans!

Excuse you, that’s “Big League”, as in serious, as in high class. Serious people, okay? Because phrases. The most tremendous, the greatest- believe me- sentence. Fragments. Look! over here A Lot. A lot of people. Smart people. African Americans. Hell. Inner cities: DISASTER, okay? Islamophobia? ISISssss *SNIFF* they…

And the “I swear to god if you ask another bullshit question in class I will kill you myself” look.

“rejiggering”

Yep, she swerved the way I do around my furniture when I’m shutting off lights to go to bed. Not today, couch. Not ever, bookcase.

She must get her stamina from her mother.

Friend zoned by his own daughter. That’s gotta hurt.

Never broke her smile, and then capped it off with the “we’re just friends” arm pat. Beautiful.

I think a headache would do at this point

So, how long until she finds something desperate enough to pull her away? Like, maybe her dog gets constipated or she grows a moral backbone.

Somehow, after 95 minutes during which Trump could not articulate a single cohesive policy statement or, for that matter any complete sentence; after he threatened to go Mussolini on her and throw her in jail if he wins; admitted to not paying taxes - and MSNBC and CNN are calling a draw. Did they watch the same…

What’s the weirder life? Being married to Hitler, being a favored child of Hitler or being the child Hitler doesn’t like because you don’t have the boobs Hitler thinks his daughter should have?

Trump said he’d have Hillary imprisoned if he wins, so he, Putin, and Assad would have a great time bonding over their love of making political opponents disappear.

Every single thing Trump said on Syria made me want to set my TV on fire. Aleppo has already fallen? Assad, Iran, and Russia are fighting Daesh? No one knows who the rebels are? Syrian refugees aren’t already being vetted?

“Does that mean I’m back in?”

Oh please let Christmas come early this year and have this be true

It’s like Sophie’s Choice, except Sophie has to pick her favorite Nazi instead.

Spoiler alert: