When Mr Vegas and I were trying to conceive baby Vegas, I was timing my ovulation and then we were having sex every second day in my fertile period. He got home from work one afternoon and I said, “Hon, we need to have sex tonight. Do you want to do it now or after dinner?”

I’ve done the math. Spending 10 minutes a day in the bathroom is equivalent to an extra week’s vacation per year.

Oh boy, I feel ya. I got all the poop issues! BUT besides the obvious shit (haha pun) like drinking lots of water and eating lots of leafy greens (spinach farts may cause divorce though) I started taking magnesium in the form of “natural calm”. I started taking it because a job I was at wracked me with anxiety and…

Shallots are the sexiest member of the allium family (in the sense that, like, homemade shallots, garlic, broccoli and lemon over a bed of angel hair is more likely to set the mood than, say, some penne and jarred alfredo), but I’d like to meet the person, male or female, who can down an entire dish of creamy pasta…

PANNA COTTA YES.

this is what we eat a lot. satisfying and yummy and not much work when you are busy/don't feel like cooking.

Yeah, that would do it. Except the cupcakes. Swap that for a pie or tarte or maybe a panna cotta.

You would be surprised how sheltered some man-babies are out there. Like, my old roommate (whose life legit revolved around video games, UFC, and football) used to be so scornful of my cooking. I love cooking and I’m an excellent cook, and spending a day off in the kitchen is highly relaxing for me. But like, he’d be…

You gotta fuck while the lasagna is in the oven. That is the best and most efficient way to do it.

Bring me half dozen oysters and a glass of bubbles, and I’m good to go.

You can do both, but make sure your Waist Trainer isn’t too tight. Things could get ugly.

Shallots are the most seductive of the alliums.

I usually try to go for more subtle physical hints, like pointing at my vagina and signing “wanna bone?”

why were you hard in the first place?

i wasn’t talking to you

my coworkers tried it - the one had never pooped at work. That changed relatively fast.

Thank you for your honest assessment. Very disturbing to now think of the K-klan pooping all the time.

Can I use the hair vitamins during the 14-day Fit Coffee detox, or should I wait until after I’m done?

Real talk y’all, I tried one of those fit teas (I know, I know. Bad body image and weight gain coupled with long work hours that keep me from working out, I got desperate). They are poo teas. All you do is poo. I kept the leftover tea around in case I ever get seriously backed up. That can’t be healthy to drink all…