That's the cutest thing I've read today. Also oddly existential —

It was Batman, with Michael Keaton.

I've been wanting to use this.

Hilaria Baldwin's Tweet, translated: "I smugged a tree to do smug and read a smug cookbook. Smugging on a whole new level! #smug #narcissism #mememe"

Didn't think I'd have the occassion to use this gif so soon after discovering it, but damn Hobby Lobby, if you don't deserve it.

Wait, how in the heck is giving Trystane (barely a character) a back story and show time easier than doing it for Arriane?

I think there should be a term for omitting characters. It should be called "Coldhanded". Like "Man, Lady Stoneheart got coldhanded" or "Wow, they coldhanded Arianne?"

Well thank god somebody finally had the courage to come out and say this.

Completely off topic, but where is my Behind Closed Ovens? How am I supposed to get through my Monday?

I could say so much about what a complete asshat Chuck Lorre is and what a complete pile of shit his shows are but instead I will let this dog convey my feelings.

I'm guessing they are thin pieces of vinyl that she decoupages to her face with gum arabic each morning.

I don't need a GPS to find the party, because the party is right.fucking.here.

Semi-related: I describe my kid as "like the raptors in Jurassic Park" — he's studying and finding weaknesses to exploit. He could open child-proof bottles before he was one. Those plastic covers for plugs? He just pulls them out. We have these chord loop doohickeys that wrap around two knobs and you tighten it down…

I've thought a lot about this, and I think aside from social demagoguery, the reason conservatives have managed to be so successful in spite of policies that harm the lower and middle classes is this: They get the middle class to associate themselves with the rich, while liberals try to get them to relate to the…

the serious thing is that he refuses to take no for an answer and fans are blaming her for either "leading him on" or "not being firm enough with her no". she can't win either way. b/c it's a game, she can't just cuss him out. and understand one of his plans is to get them alone in the jury house so he can "talk to…

on big brother, there is a stalker situation going on where the woman has to balance "being a friend" and trying to dissuade him. but his behavior is really getting out of hand. and some viewers are blaming her for "encouraging him" with her friendship or not outright cussing him out. understand this houseguest is…

Ugh, can we please stop selling tilapia like it's something special? It's a garbage fish. You know where the huge amount of tilapia comes from? Commercial fish fams put them in the tanks to "clean" them after the real moneymakers have been harvested. That's right, tilapia are poop eaters. If you want to eat it, fine…

Slept all day. I did manage to feed myself, but that's about it. I think finishing the weekend off with some porn educational videos and s'mores is a grand idea.

You guys! I just got engaged! He proposed in the noodles aisle of the grocery store, everyone was confused as to why we were so excited/happy/kissing. There was no kneeling (thank God!), only happy questions and smiling. Last night he asked my parents if they were cool with him proposing and I guess he had been…

"Have I told you the one about my penis? Oh, never mind, it's too long,"