you’re aware of the difference between giving and receiving, yes? If not, your poor wife.

Buying an online-only game is like joining a gym. You’re paying to be part of a community, and you must then follow the rules of that community. If you went to your gym and started harassing the other members or pissing on the equipment, you’d get banned from the gym. Do you think they’d refund your membership fee?…

Of all the places NOT to kick down doors in the middle of the night, Texas has to be near the top of the list.

This story leaves me with a lot of questions - primarily, should I go with a “Kick in the Door” or a “I Got a Story to Tell” joke here?

Well, he was a Shooting Guard. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

Dallas News is reporting he got shot kicking down two doors to an apartment that wasn’t his in the middle of the night:

I don’t understand why people send death threats. As a serious statement or a joke it’s unacceptable and really incredibly petty. I’m not sure how much it actually bothers you but I’m sorry you and others have to be put through that.

I hate myself for my stupid little giggle I have going at work reading this.

Could be worse. I mean, blood clots aren't as devastating as the comet that wiped out the rest of his family sixty five million years ago.

I also caught a fish thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big

I wish those stupid laws had been in place much earlier so my aunt didn’t have to die of an asthma attack during a smog alert in LA. Emissions laws are incredibly important.

As someone who has what I refer to as my Dream Job, don’t focus on the dream job. Trust me, having your dream job won’t suddenly make you happy. Human nature doesn’t work that way.

Great place to keep a baby, especially with the drain plug.

The 2017 Honda Ridgeline. For adults that have grown up past having to make a statement.

A real missed opportunity. No NYC cop would have arrested him.

Note that he’s passing someone on the right, and there’s no reason to believe the person in the left lane was driving too slowly for the passing lane. There was someone ahead of them passing the van.

His form is to basketball as his music is to music.

Darwin is a fickle bitch.

Paging Tavarish... Tavarish, your next project car is available. Oh Freddy...

Just want to shout out Norm’s in the background. Open 24/7, best place in LA to get a steak and eggs special any time of day for $6.99. Mr Manziel should definitely take note. They have great employee discounts too.