1. How come all the couples they showed were men? Where were the lesbian couples?

My mom drew me pictures of horses mating. It was traumatizing.

poops midair.

I'm working on a re-make of Sunset Boulevard. It stars Gwyneth as Norma Desmond, only in my version she makes Joe look at old Goop screen captures and performs pivotal scenes from Sliding Doors. Spoiler Alert: Max Von Myerling is actually Chris Martin.

It's unbelievable, isn't it, Bob? My best friend made $5000 a month selling cronuts from his home, and you can, too.

I don't have any plans for this coming Saturday... perhaps this is the money-making scheme I've been looking for!

Or parents can put the drugs where the kids don't get em. Don't people have medicine cabinets full of pills? Alcohol in the house? Jeezy Creezy, get a lock box for your stash if you have to! I didn't know this was rocket science.

There is no way this is legit.

While this isn't really good satire, I think we have to remember that Mitt Romney himself does sometimes appear to be a caricature of everyone's rich jerkass boss. I mean, I thought the 47% quote was either satire or blatant lies the first time I heard it.

Hmmm, not sure about that...it's tagged as "humor".

Try telling my good friend who runs marathons and does P90x that, who just so happens to be a size 20. She would toss your ass across an entire football field.

I wish I had even a teeny tiny bit of sewing or sketching talent, because I've been saying for YEARS that the plus size market is very, very underserved, and someone could be making a shit ton of money.

Heh. As a Coloradoan I'm honestly a little surprised that people are so upset about this jeans-at-fancy-places thing. I even love an excuse to get dressed up, but slacks just screams East Coast nerd to me. Get outta here wit yo fancy pants! Also, that word. Slacks. Ugh.

I'm suddenly thinking of that David Cross bit where he says the South has a greater degree of irony than the rest of the country.

Why does every American actress have to prove that she's good in the kitchen or at making a baby?????? I'm so sick of this!

I thought it was kinda funny, poking fun at the industry.

Why is he sticking his finger in her mouth when he says, "Whatever!" and then gazes up at the camera?

This isn't strictly related, but this reminded me of the "Fun Fearless Females" thing in Cosmopolitan. I don't like it because I feel the word "female" is less important and more exclusionary than "woman." Particularly for some transwomen and others.

Honestly, Peensandrice and RefriedPeens might be the best names ever.

"her boss's Instagram username was a combination of a popular Mexican dish and a slang term for the male genitalia"