Grade: F (Blake Shelton says he’ll make you come come hell or high water.)

Well, bailing out right before the train goes off the rails in a chaos of fire and destruction is her long-established M.O.

To be fair, would you really want her to show up at your party? I bet the temperature in the room drops by ten degrees when she walks in.

Genetic Sexual Attraction is a real disorder that isn’t totally uncommon in a situation where an adult child meets their biological parent after years of separation. They didn’t bond as parent and child and so it opens the door to all this craziness. Not justifying it - just saying that it’s kind of ‘normal’ in an…

All of this sounds horrible, like a perfect storm of awfulness that all converged at the same time.

This starts off awful and then careens violently into unspeakable.

A golden retriever would be adorable. And he could wear little glasses and a tie as a collar, and if he was a bad president, it wouldn’t matter, because he’s a good boy.

I’m just gonna leave this here.

I have on my Christmas list: Olivia Pope coat.

LOLOL.

When the prominent feminist guy came on screen I said ‘that guys a rapist’. My husband rolled his eyes and told me to stop thinking everyone was a rapist. Vindication! Maybe, the episode isn't over.

We’re the Jezzie gladiators.

exactly. I love Cyrus because that is they don’t bother with him, he’s shady as fuck and that’s his whole character.

I don’t like mean Jake. Even though he’s mostly right.

Must everyone on Scandal talk a mile a minute? Calm the fuck down people.

I want to go to there.

Yes, we will do that on the same day that anyone gives a shit about what you think.

The whole time we were working on this, I couldn't get this out of my head:

No one's slick as Gaston

Ugh. There is a lot to complain about re: way women are treated by hospitals and ob/gyns, but the only time it is appropriate to use the term "birth rape" is IF SOMEONE RAPES YOU WHILE YOU ARE GIVING BIRTH.