Pioneering families moved west and called for Army assistance with native tribes, sure!

Man, I hope devoured by crabs is an option by the time I kick it. Apparently they’re pretty quick about taking care of a body, and I have enjoyed eating them so it seems only fair to return the favor.

Dude we elected Marion Barry after he was busted buying crack on camera..

You meant “the. most. hammiest. mostoverwrought. actor.

i have anxiety reading this.

Do these cookies have nuts? Asking for an intolerant friend.

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re are no friends of mine

Well, there is a registration process for copyright. It’s basically what the copyright office does. What you are saying though is that copyright ownership manifests automatically to the author when the work is created. But that doesn’t mean that mean he can’t be in the middle of registration. He needs to have…

It’s weird to say that someone is in the middle of copyrighting something.  There’s no registration process for copyright -- you produce the work and the copyright exists for that work.  Whether you can assert that copyright is another story.  

Hmmm, I think thats what you would call, a joke.

“Your honor, this man did not die because I shot him.  He died because he couldn’t be bothered to hold all his blood in.”

I get super bad motion sickness for any first person games, and even some third person games with tight over-the-shoulder angles (looking at you, Arkham games). I eat Ginger candies to take away the nausea once I get it, but it hasn’t helped me much preventing it.

The year I came out, my mom got me a book along the lines of “Jesus Can Give Anyone A New Beginning!” and a stress ball.

He said he was concerned his passport would get stolen, which still makes no sense.

This gift wasn’t given to me personally but it was still pretty awful from my perspective:

My Grandfather’s second wife didn’t approve of my brother’s decision not to attend college. She gifted him a framed embroidered version of “If you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes,” complete with an image of a dog’s ass centered over the text.

This is honestly the job I am most qualified for, of all jobs in the world. 

My husband works for a company that’s incredibly conservative. I generally hate his holiday party because I feel like it’s impossible to have fun, I always have to monitor what I say so I don’t let my evil atheist liberal views slip. ANYWAYS, about 15 years ago when the company was still relatively small, they invited…

Losing his wife in the first episode turned what could have been a very meh character, into someone who is the surrogate dad. I think that Rosa really sealed the deal as his role in the show. It would have been easy to just have him be the grumbling middle-aged white man, with the other characters being more focused…