I used one of these pens post-hysterectomy, and my uterus grew back. Thanks a lot, Bic. Thanks a whole hell of a lot.

just take the ink out of it; she'll think she has an actual say because she has a writing utensil that isn't heavy and manly, but she won't have to actually use it

If only there was a pen for women so we could at least think our signature meant something.

Who let this woman near a computer machine?!

Oh wait - your husband must have mounted it to the stove-top. Well I won't question his motives, that clever man!

Contracts aren't a freshly mopped floor or a delicious sandwich, so I'm confused.

Now now, we all know women can't legally sign contracts.

Did the woman provide written consent for the man to ejaculate in the first place?

Major meltdown time = perfect time to explain that her life is not over and that she needs to stop making a scene, not MAKE A BIGGER SCENE FOR HER >:(

According to the mom, Trebek didn't ever console the girl backstage. "If he had taken the time, he would have known, like you do, that my daughter is not a sore loser, and does not become emotional solely over losing a game," the woman wrote. "She was upset about not being able to completely play the game to the end."

This feels like a chopper-mom/stage-mom kind of thing. I am so sick of people with their

Wait... the vaccine might not work? Um, can we go into that in some more detail? How is that not a bigger story here?

Yesterday I received a letter from my kid's middle school. She has to get a whooping cough vaccine booster by June of next year or she won't be allowed to enroll in 7th grade.

Why is it so hard for people to accept that medicine is real?

the one on the right triiiied to hold it together

"What was it like, raising these two?"
"It has not been easy." and then later, "I know we have to take responsibility for them."

I'm ROLLING.

She's so embarrassed by those two. That's the glorious part of all this. You can just picture her sitting there watching this, afraid the neighbors are all seeing her children duke…

LITERAL BEST MOM

Dear Moms of All Politicians Everywhere,

I remember years ago, a woman called into the C-SPAN morning show because she wanted to talk about conditions for injured soldiers at Walter Reed and how she was in Washington and had gone in to see them and was appalled at the state of the hospital. The host asked her some more questions and deduced (correctly) that…

That was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Watch and cringe as one of the brothers drops his head into his hands and bemoans, "Oh God, it's mom."