LOL: You used "U.S. lawmakers" and "actual science" in the same sentence.

i just lost my shit at how accurate this is. a+ 10/10

I'll gladly pay the extra 27 cents to not have to clean up or risk third degree burns.

By the way, it's worth noting that W-S founder Chuck Williams grew up dirt-poor and fatherless, and was forced to work on a date farm (literally named Sniffs) all through high school. Wikipedia says he also served in World War II as a plane mechanic. He is a legitimately self-made man and a fantastic American…

I feel like in years past there was a good mix of ridiculous and covetable. This year it all seems like something you'd see in a catalog for a middle school fundraiser. I miss the shame that comes from secretly kind of wanting my own monogrammed steak brand or dedicated potato scrubber gloves.

if i hear the word 'artisanal' in relation to kitchen equipment, i'm going to lose it, i swear

This is my favorite thing you write all year. The pathos, the whip-saw between guilt and desire, the bone deep self-loathing of comfortable white liberals. Soooo Good. fuck, I gotta go jerk off.

His place is so clean and generically decorated! Do you think he used the photos from the ads before he moved in, and photoshopped the Lays in to add some personality, or do you think he cleaned up real nice before taking pictures so he could prey on the homeless girl of his dreams?

Gotta say, I'm kinda leaning towards PETA in this case. This guy sounds like a bag of dicks.

No, actually, they don't. They'd love for you to believe that, but they just want to punish sluts and whores. I worked for an anti-abortion group for three weeks, and the higher ups were all nasty old white dudes who'd chase women around the desk if they got a chance. When the TV cameras were on, it was all, "Please…

So you want me to lend legitimacy to their nonsense? No, thank you.

Oh no, even before the general, it's critical to vote! If you live in a gerrymandered jurisdiction, or one party is THE party, then the primary is the real election.

Well if you don't feel like voting, you get the government you deserve.

Isn't late term abortion (later than 20 weeks) really uncommon? Or have I been misled?

If your constituents don't like abortions, I would recommend to them that they avoid having any.

I was about to write the same with less sass.

Oh yes, I forgot rape is the only crime where victims have to prove there was a crime. They are lying until proven truthful.

This is a testament of todays fucked up "instant journalism". First RS publishes a story without properly fact checking on behalf of the accuser "Jackie" who did not name names at first. Then they retract along with the WaPo thereby hanging the alledged rape victim out to dry, which is fubar imo. Today they, along…

My opinion is that something horrible happened to Jackie. I don't know if it was a three-hour gang rape by seven guys, as she told RS, or being forced into oral sex by a smaller number, as she originally told her friends. But she's consistently said she was raped by multiple people, she was clearly traumatized, and…

Right, because the problem is the corruption in the city and the state. Fuck you, buddy. Chicago has always been my home, and yes, the violence and corruption there are major issues, but this is NOT about the city. This is about misogyny. This is about an abusive relationship. I don't think it's the city's fault for…