Dearly begloved, we are gathered today...

AARGH(onauts)!!!!!

I cried during Inside Out.

“I was.”
-Ray Rice

Pfft. As a baseball purist, I find the Sacrifice Bunt Derby far more entertaining.

The thing about shit-talking Waiters is that sometimes they spit in your food.

There’s really nothing remarkable here. Lots of athletes take time out of their schedule to visit retarded children.

I don’t particularly like this guy.

Its the Braves, if they don’t like the results, they can always take it back.

Idea: The Indians should wear the names of all the players from Major League.

I want all the players on one team to use each other’s names on their jersey just to confuse players and announcers.

It’s tough to get anyone in Washington to admit to obstruction these days.

I think he’s saying “Get in the fucking box, you mother fucking bitch mother fucker” because the batter had stepped out. Also because he’s insane.

In surprising reversal, Chad Johnson is taking the House to it.

“You know what I like.”

“No video on the internet has ever made me this uncomfortable.”

Never trust a Scot lacking both a final T and a kilt.

The Yankees Are Struggling To Put Butts In Seats

There is a list a mile long headed with “Can someone teach Trump how to...” including:

Hey, something like that could be on the receiver. Without being in the huddle or on the sideline, it’s hard to know where to assign blame.