Please explain what you did to deserve to be here, and also, why these people don’t deserve to be here?

“I’ll kick your heinie” was right there, man...

“Tom Brady, the Gwyneth Paltrow of sports”

Lists, Ranked

An Internet Commenter Explains Why You Should Always Order the Larger Pizza

Albert Breer did not personally see the sign, so it really wasn’t even there.

Ha, I’m in a wedding this weekend and I still haven’t met the bride.

Steve Lyons.

Go Black and Blue!

Word is John Dennis tried dropping the dime on him, but couldn’t get his last name correct.

So...how did it go?

If crime is legal, why do you need the hood?

Tommy’s “Texas sized 2 x 4" is the funniest part of the reader submissions.

Just came to say The <i> Italian Job </i> was freaking hilarious.

Depends on what you want delivered...

To be fair, “things” rhymes perfectly with “things.”

That’s not a lie, if you believe it.

To be fair, those trucks were wearing hoodies.

This guy is using his phone, to film another man on his phone, while zooming past someone else on their phone to get a better shot.

Bears team doctors immediately came over, pumped him full of vicodin and torodol, and told him he could continue sliding headfirst.