"Not today." (Standing under a Geico sign wagging my finger.)

I'd like to see pictures of the chair lift and walk-in tub if possible.

I haven't even eaten their food and I already have the shits.

Posing next to fire hydrants will soon be a thing.

Make sure you wear your flat brimmed SnapBack of you're 10th favorite NBA team while you lift. It'll look cooler. Or at least it does at my gym.

Sweet Baby Ray's: "The Sauce is the Boss."

the Indy team I usd to work for is giving away free hermit crabs on Opening Day. That can't miss.

Did Ray Hudson really just compare Neymar's finishing to a bag of wet mice?! im guessing that's not a good thing.

Ray Hudson's enthusiasm gave me diabetes.

Mata is dominant at Juanfield.

Hatem Ben Arfa takes bigger hits with his bong.

Maybe he'll join the MLS next.

shadow puppets are back in.

forgot the dancing clown, can we please talk about that epic afro?

I know 4 words in the title of his paper. I guess I can't English, either.

Bye Felicia.

Walla Walla.

the truck looks like it's being taken out by a massive groundhog. Or maybe it's just these sour cream and onion chips.

That vine will have more hits than the White Sox this season.

530 pounds?! Didn't Ngata already leave Baltimore?