Rick DiPietro: "I could have stopped that sperm slap shot."

whatever happened to snorting crushed altoids and eating chalk as being high school hobbies?

Harry Kane is not pretty enough to be on Deadspin. He is also a mouth breather.

Al Roker's Sharts in the Octagon: An Autobiography.

Centerplate calls this their "value meal"

I'm going to see G Unit in November with a friend of mine. I know most of the words but that doesn't make me gay. It makes people think I'm not a total racist.

that just turned my brain into shit.

She is NOT good at Frogger.

loose seal!

Jep, I mean, Yep, it will.

and now....here are all the times Cristiano Ronaldo gave a fuck.

The dollar amount represents the amount of times the NFL fumbled the Ray rice fiasco.

neither does Goodell. That's why they are "rules".

These guys need to get the puck out.

#61 can't put his arms down.

I am also thirsty but I am not a pro athlete. So I drank some water and yanked one out to her subreddit like an average male. Go Me!

not sure if this is better than being hit by a chair thrown by Bobby Knight. Maybe, maybe not.

are there any Delonte West tweets regarding LeBron's mum? That still needs clarification.

Hey, at least he has the title for his next book.

I'd point you to GiGi Buffon and Tim Howard as examples. Guys who are in their mid to late 30's and still performing. Keepers tend to peak much later than other positions, it seems.