Mousebender: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
Wensleydale: Yes, sir. Oh! The cat's eaten it.

http://www.theonion.com/art…

Ignoring the fact that Darth Vader speaks Galactic Basic

I loved Nestor Carbonara in Lost.

Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Metzenbaum scissors!
Nurse: Metzenbaum scissors!
[meow]
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Get that cat out of here!

Opinions about whether or not we should have gotten involved aside (and I think most agree now that it was a huge mistake), our soldiers - many of them draftees - were being killed nonetheless, so her action was seen as an insult to their memories and to the others that were still fighting over there.

In the first color Hardtack video, what is that weird snake-thing in the bottom-left corner of the screen at the 25-second mark?

What about dutch rudders?

Now, where did I put my Free-Battery-Of-The-Month card…

Somewhere, Charo is looking on the Home Depot website for the price of cast iron pipes.

A great and long overdue development… which I'm sure won't cause any kind of uproar among conservative/family groups.

Kissing Archie Bunker on the cheek was pretty funny, too.

No, it's Jean Nate.

It's understandable that there are 2 sets of envelopes on either side of the stage, but yes, you'd think that as soon as an award is presented the duplicate envelope would be automatically placed in a box or something, to prevent this scenario from happening. I mean, didn't the man/woman who handed Beatty the envelope…

EXACTLY.

She should have sent them snail mail - that way she could include a baggie filled with some glitter, her photo resume, some candy, and a note that says "I know where you live, ha ha!" All while wearing heavy eyeliner and lipstick, of course. Casting directors love that.

It's not the years or the mileage, it's the cataracts.

Ha - not any more.

I must be the only person that really didn't really like Shrek. I grew to appreciate the first one a bit as time went on, but those movies still always struck me as… I don't know… just weird and unfunny. Mike Myers isn't exactly a master of subtlety when it comes to mixing adult and child humor (Exhibit A: "Cat in the…

Hmm. That rating system seems a bit… extreme, but ok.