Wow. Just wow.

One time an ex gave me the silent treatment all night because I stopped him from using his own straw to try my coffee drink (his was some fruity cream thing!) I said "no cross contamination!" I totally let him use mine, but he was sooooo offended. People are weird.

Then he told me that he felt like cutting his head off, putting it in a box, and mailing it to me.

Going up, my parents were were divorced and never communicated directly. I got bounced back and forth between them a lot. Always based on what my mom needed. Fuck my social life or grades or stability. If being a parent started to get too hard, she'd ship me off to live with my grandmother or father. She'd get lonely,…

I remember where I was when the giant marshmallow attacked NYC, boy howdy.

Other things that aren't real: Ghosts, the Ghostbusters.

My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)

The pathological liar ex (I have posted about him before) and I had a relationship built entirely on dancing, fights and sex. It took me forever to understand that he was cheating on me, and I accepted his increasingly wild stories about his "friend" who was just "really emotionally fragile right now" and who I kept…

Once had a girl in high school breakup with me via Word document saved on my family computer, circa 2002. It was saved in a folder she named "Read after Prom" that she created like 5 minutes before we left for the damn event.

This isn't a story about me being broken up with, rather me breaking up with my boyfriend at the time. Our 2nd anniversary was coming up and I had just realized that I was in love with someone else, a woman to be exact. Well, he didn't know this yet and my 19 year old self thought the best time to tell him was when he…

One of my exes was into medieval reenactment and at one point bought me a throwing axe, which I got to be pretty good at. When I dumped him, he went to my room and grabbed it, then fell to his knees baring his throat and offering it to me while begging me to "end it now." I laughed so hard I staggered backwards and…

I once had a huge breakup fight with my boyfriend over hamburger helper. He wanted me to get up and get an additional fork instead of sharing his and for some reason I refused.

The first boy I ever kissed and my first "real" boyfriend broke up with me via AIM AWAY MESSAGE. He couldn't even be bothered to IM me himself and he put it up for everyone to see. The mid 2000s were a rough time to date.

My best friend left the country to break up with someone. Not because he was crazy, she just didn't want to hurt his feelings so she joined a study abroad program (totally serious.)

I had another friend who kept acquiring animals every time one of her girlfriends broke up with her (four dogs, two cats, a rabbit and a…

The truth is that, except in the first flush of infatuation, both partners are rarely equally excited. At any given moment, one person wants sex more passionately than the other.

I'm tired of this. We focus on teaching women not to be raped; now we are starting to focus on teaching everyone around a potential victim to stop her from getting raped. There is still so little that is actually geared towards the criminal themselves.

#yesallwomen

So in this case, when the national chapter of Phi Delta Theta said, "No more of this behavior," they really meant ... no?

Fascinating.

Tears of joy, natch. God, I love Carlton.