And to think men complained about shrinkage before this beauty hit the market. You could never even look at the water in this thing.

Lady, you got a panty on your chest.

@Kateness has the skin of a KILLER: Thanks for taking one for the team and describing it, because I don't have the strength anymore. The past few weeks have had very few Simplex 1 and 2 reports and I found it so refreshing!

The new Joel McHale show Community should also help fill the void. I think it's running in 30 Rock's place for most of the delayed start.

Abstinence Only videos wish they could be this effective at convincing ladies not to do something.

@theNChills: One of the worst three-word combinations I have ever heard.

Excercise for women, you say? No, this excercise is definitely for men. But at least I can stop my Kegel routine.

In addition to the terrible sonogram photo on the cake, can we talk about the phrase "It's a boy!" No! He's a boy. The baby is a boy. Gah!

@starryeyedkid: I write for a blog that did a write up about this artist and others that create art from books a few months ago. I think I was more stunned by the dozens of comments like this than I was the beautiful art. Just as a book can be interpreted in different ways when read, the same goes for its physical…

Don't forget to vacuum up the mess.

Now let's see one of the light beers develop a barbell koozie and turn "12 ounce curls" into "4 pound curls". The possibility for emblazoned slogans are endless.

@greengrey thinks the layout sucks/swallows: A dirtbag husband and melanoma.

@nyc-caribbean-ragazza: Because he really likes getting harrassed and towel-whipped by his NFL teammates in the locker room. Duh.

I, for one, think they look delightful.

@missteenwordpower: At least we know how Matt thinks of himself when he looks in the mirror.

Ladies, there is something far worse than nipple hair. INGROWN nipple hair. I speak from experience; let your wild hairs grow.

I never noticed that Slash had such lovely hands.

"I went to Cornell, you ever heard of it? I graduated in four years. I never studied once. I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the accapella group, 'Here Comes Treble.'"

I missed this episode, but previous episodes indicate that the producers are very good about getting counseling for family members, especially children.

These are the same guys that ingested Alli and Olestra to see how much anal leakage would occur and then photographed the, ahem, results.