Free Lube!!! Wooo!!

He'll never pay full price for sex again either

That's why you need a fanny pack.

Yeah, that'll be great for the economy. Less spending.

Yeah, as if strippers didn't have enough bruises

Amen. (Although I'm only a college student, no doctorate)

Awesome Cool Hand Luke reference

This just emphasizes the fact that there are pesticides on the fruit and other things that make their product dirty.

At least mosquitoes don't kill other mosquitoes over differences in religion. Except during the Mosquito Crusades, that is.

If his average speed in that think was 45 mph, that means 22,222.222 hours of ride time. I couldn't sit in any one car for that long.

Genocide: With humans- Horrible. With Mosquitos- OMG Best Idea EVER!!!!!

Soo realistic, and the nitro boost when you jam the throttle twice.

Marker Felt. They used Marker Felt.

Oh ok, thanks

Every time I drink Goldschlager, I distill my own urine (better drink my own piss). Then I put it in a centrifuge and spin the precious metals out. Then after those are out of the way, I'm left with pure liquid gold!

What is this a reference to? I feel like I should know this

tl;dr

I'm waiting for Liquid State Memory, it's the next big thing

I actually liked that movie, but for a second I had it confused with Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, which is a horrible movie.

Haha what a troll, he obviously read enough of your article to to get to the "totes" part. Also, the game.