This. I would estimate the number of people who have dropped their basic cable subscription because ESPN offended their conservative sensibilities to be exactly zero.

So if I (hypothetically) gave $100 to Best Buddies, and Best Buddies (hypodermically) gave $3.25 million to Change the World, and Change the World (hypnotically) gave an undisclosed wad of cash to the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, and the Dana Farber Cancer Institute (hypocratically) did something charitable with it...

The device Evans spent three years laboring to invent is a $400 WiFi-enabled tabletop machine that squeezes juice ... out of a bag of Juicero-brand juice. It squeezes bags of juice. It is a juice press that squeezes the juice ... out of bags of juice. Bags ... with built-in spouts ... that are filled with juice. Juice…

This is my favourite excerpt.

Fuck off.

Fuck off.

LOL yeah he really “cares.” All humanitarian compassion gets routed through Goldman Sachs.

“I think we can agree he brings a certain amount of disorder”

Just as dumb as the 1.25 billion dollars spent by Mitt Romney in 2012...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The GOP blew a 237-193 lead in the House.

The best part of capitalism is when shitheads accidentally waste their money in the funniest of ways.

Steve Bannon got his start in politics two years ago when he was fired from his job as a mall Santa because of beard lice.

OK, ignore the fact that Steve Bannon is a sack of shit and look at the story on it’s merits...

P-Noonz was on her 8th martini by the time the thing got started.

“At least now when someone is terribly ill they’re not allowed to suffer. It’s a blessing.”

Irrespective of everything else, I’m tired of this “it was a good speech” nonsense. It was a crap speech. It was boring. There was no flow. It was disjointed. There was no overriding narrative arc. It was objectively worse than any major speech given by George W. Bush.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_Plan_Red we also had a plan for invading Canada, but getting a plan and acting are two different things.

Planning and greenlighting aren’t even in the same fucking hemisphere

This is a lie, check the tape. They’re standing.