“Love him to Death”

Once you get to the point of “murdered a thirteen year old girl” I don’t think it matters whether it’s federal crime or not anymore. You’re probably going away forever.

Can you imagine Bill Gates haggling to knock another $100 off the price? And “No!” to the factory undercoat.

Can we talk about the production values of the snowboarding video?

Countdown to a video of two people having sex in a snowbank while wearing only Buffalo Bills jerseys in 3..2...

Can you imagine the shit that’s going to go down when she inevitably thinks that he’s cheating on her with some other fan?

Am I the only one who thinks this is creepy? Maybe it’s just because I’m the same age as this girl. It’s definitely making me question where you draw the line between fan and casual stalker now that social media is so ubiquitous.

The coaches shouldn’t be penalized. They told both their teams to beat the other on the scoreboard, not physically. Unfortunately, patience runs thin when the game is in quadruple overtime and the teams are deadlocked at six apiece.

“The subject was now lying in a prone position, with arms out at the sides...face turned towards me watching my approach...did not resist, was compliant....said would do whatever we wanted them to do...”

The problem is that a comedian should not host the golden globes. No one can take a joke. Everyone wants him to be simultaneously more funny and less offensive. We should see if we can get that north korean reporter in the pink to just read the results for you people.