It’s not like anyone forced you to read this article.

I think the problem isn’t with the molasses like pace of the end of basketball games, it’s that blue agave nectar is a much more healthy alternative to molasses as a sweetener in baked goods, drinks, and whatnot. I went to this awesome little bakery a few days ago, it had THE. BEST. blondie brownies. I normally prefer…

*Song starts* “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”

Bene’ Beworkinelsewhere

This whole saga has been a blast.

They came first for the clowns, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a clown...

Dammit Jaguar Lady, you’re supposed to make me feel happy. Now you’re a person and I’m worried about you living on the street. Can the Jags make her the new mascot? She’s literally the only good thing about that team or city, and top 5 for the state.

Wish I had something more clever to say, but a simple “Man, fuck this guy” will have to suffice.

Man. Fuck this guy.

Great take Patrick. Now you’ve got to blast cycling too. I mean, come on, is the Olympics about humans or machines?

I’m writing you in for president. Rom Romberts/Cthulu 2016.

I feel like this whole article was merely posted to bait Rom Romberts into posting something.

I spent the last few weeks thinking of a tree that we used to have in the backyard of our old house. All those hours I spent under that tree looking up as the sunlight dripped like honey through the leaves. When the thin cold wire of time wasn’t pressing pushing tight against my neck. There was time back then. There’s…

Glad to hear the horses are OK. Both temporarily achieved their goal, freedom from a little man whipping them in the ass.

you read Deadspin and are statistically most likely to be an irritable dad with a law degree

Never thought that I would regret turning down an invitation to watch a fixed wheel bicycle race held on a Saturday night but here we are.

Mitch should stop acting this way, or he may end up with a nickname that implies a lack of control.