In unrelated news, Barry Switzer has filed lawsuit against Highlights magazine, claiming that he never received a packet of colored dinosaur stickers.

"Madden was entirely nonplussed."

His favorite past times include: Icing his "brahs", date rape and Poo Dollar.

He should have pulled a James Jordan and slept on it.

@Gottliebs Cards: I second the larger women have larger vaginas theory. As the proud offspring of an Asian and Caucasian (very small penis) I have had the distinct pleasure of displeasuring two women who were taller than me.

"Remember Sully when I promised to kill you last ... "

Only if they keep Snake in the games section.

"This whole coat-hanger-thing is much easier than it looks. A lot of people are doing it these days. Trust me."

The Lincoln Park rapist enjoys the back nine.

I believe the Magnum look is out this year.

After the 2010 season, members of T-Bones found themselves renamed to the KoKo's.

Party City, unfortunately relocating after violating a noise level agreement with Study Hour Metropolis.

@whiskerbrisket: It's where the party's at.

@Blair Mitchelmore: My mind is still reeling from that two hour mind fuck.

@Drew Magary: My fathers lawn Jart set might have actually come in handy for once.

I imagine the make-up sex is going to be phenomenal.

You can cut a lot of things but the only way to remove a genital wart is to lance it.

@Kaiser-Machead v.2.1.1: The maintenance is awful on smaller tanks. Because of the smaller size a problem gets magnified and can wipe out an entire reef. Did you ever see the Oceanic Biocube systems?

As a former employee in the pet/marine aquatics industry, it's pretty ridiculous. Like any hobby you run across enthusiasts and those who borderline on obsessive. Then you have folks who have so much money to sling around that it's almost scary.

@Nicoliman: Jesus. You must have recently had sex because that's one of the articles that's in this months Cosmo. Why do I know this? I bought a subscription for my Ex. Now I have a stack of them sitting in my bathroom ... and I'm secretly reading them cover-to-cover.