Well it’s not like he could declare war on Iran so... next best thing?

“Damien! Put the Corgi down, Damien!”

Dog and cat shelters, foster and adoption agencies should hold fundraiser screenings of this film where everyone is allowed to heckle.

My girlfriend says that there’s some counter narrative starting up about Cats. That it’s only the critics who hate the movie and fans are just loving it. Not only that, but the critics didn’t like the musical when it came out so it’s just the same. Besides, once you get use to the CGI, it’s great!

.......... Riiiiiiiiiiight!

And apparently Cosby’s spokesperson called out Murphy for his act?

“When I took the painting from the museum, I did it with the full intention of returning it when I was finished with it. What’s the big deal?”

Nice to see that corporations have caught up with the kids who bullied me in school (before social media, thank god). You know, the ones who told me that I might be more popular if I stopped being so “weird” or “smart”. And what was with all those big words I had to use?

I was hoping that was what the headline was about: someone made her cease attempting to be funny.

Oh good, I’m not the only smart ass here (I know, I know...)

Hey comics! “Cancel culture” isn’t ruining stand-up. “Political correctness” isn’t ruining comedy.

To quote my long dead uncle (burn in hell, you fucker), it’s because GM left Michigan, maaaaan. Fuckin’ unions ruining their livelihoods, maaaaan. And then all them [people who are not white] coming over here, ruining their sweet Detroit suburbs, maaaaan. Because those riots...

“Am I supposed to be impressed by... John Mulaney?”

It’s his extreme humility, can’t you tell? It’s in the way Kanye never talks about Kanye and if you ask his friends about his modesty, they will go on and on about how he never brings himself up in conversation. The humility he puts on display 24/7...

Jabba, please!

She’s quite TERF-y as well, going on the record about how women need safe spaces away from all men, even the ones who think they’re women and have had the surgery and...

So Ani DiFranco definitely made the jump from Lilith Fair to BeckyCon, good to know!

So I was watching a video about Ben Shapiro (not one of his actual videos because I have a soul) and at one point he argued how we could’ dot anything about climate change (which didn’t exist) because the only thing we could do is scale back to pre-Industrial days and think of how many people would die!

Except... most of California’s forests are under federal land management. They’re not “his” forests, Donny. They’re your responsibility!

Double or nothing says this guy is the first to complain that people should “respect their elders”.