Her, 2020.

Considering he’d be a 21st century Dandy Don, it’s not the most insane idea. I just wasn’t a good Copper Fit.

Could we just have Twitter go down until 2020?

That does it. I’m investing all of my money in Frito-Lay stock.

I was.

Jesus, as a Steelers fan, all I can think is, “Thank fucking god that sketch doesn’t look anything like Roethlisberger.”

Damn. I didn’t see it (but you’ll still get my star).

My vote would have been for RG3.

Why would the Packers trust the judgement of a guy who dumped Olivia Munn?

I spent forever in LA traffic this morning; the coffee I drank was tepid at best; there were 33 emails in my inbox, inviting me to a dozen meetings; I just filed my taxes; and my ex just got married.

“Need nobody but God”

Yeah, but can he play piano?

No, but sentences usually end in question marks.

Then you’ll go apeshit over the drama on the GOP’s twitter feed. They’re panicking and lambasting Comey. But only because they suck.

“Taylor Swift Just Disrespected Humanity With Her Cover of September”

Maybe Salka should have built a wall.

Sure, but the “backup girlfriend” in this scenario is Landry Jones.

Dear Pittsburgh Steelers,

I’m a Pirates fan (obviously) so I don’t have a horse in this race, but if you throw at a batter, I say you shouldn’t be protected for a minimum of 10 seconds. Nobody else makes a move until the ump yes, “Let’s get it on!!” Every pitcher is a big man with a baseball. Let’s see how many throw at batters if they know…

Can’t pay ‘em all, but I’d looooooooove to see it.