A Black Woman doing God’s Work: (again)

My old man worked in a factory for 40 years, had 3 herniated discs and now has a titanium scaffold holding his lower spine together. He could have moved full boxes easier than Pence moved the empty ones.

“To protect and serve...

My dad owned several, late 70's LTD variants that were utter dog shit 65% of the year. The remaining 35% of the year the car would try to kill us if the temperature got close to freezing. 

You know what they do to traitors in Alabama?

“Mobile’s sheriff, Sam Cochran, said that violations of state orders tend to “resolve itself”...”

It's so her shark teeth don't bite her arms off.

Or a partially melted crayon that is stuck on a dashboard.

Both “Uncanny Death Valley” and “Tone Deaf Valley" are likely destinations.

We’ve e seen the Rock play Danny Devito, now let’s see Devito play the Rock!

What you just described might be the plot of “Jumanji 3: Space DLC”

If she channels half of the vamp that she had in “Ragnarok” I will pre-order the golded deluxe ultimate platinum edition and the titanium season pass.

He never faught in a war and he’s not about to start now.

This dude is all of the shitty kids from Willy Wonka so the only working class stiffs he knows are the ones on TV.

“Make America Great Again” (and the shit Sara Palin was selling) has always been about making it look like Happy Days and Leave It To Beaver. A special time when Moms had dinner ready every night while looking like cover models for Good Housekeeping and not a single person of color lived on the “right” side of town.

Given Brazil’s history of taking in war criminals... it’s not a totally outrageous possibility 

“I like presidents that don't get shot in theaters."

Just wait until he gives one of these interviews next to a giant statue of Jesus.

He's got a fresh shave and a fresh dip. 

You just described the Facebook page for my neighborhood.