PPENALTY: Playing rough with my brother’s ball. 15 yards and you have to get it back before he gets home.

Chances that a professional team in DC doing something incredibly incompetent? 2:4*

“Crikey, that’s just good defense!”

It’s that eerie quiet that any parent appreciates. Then they realize it’s gone on too long and you know they are getting up to some real stupid shit

That makes our marble mouthed president ineligible too. 

I worked there from 1996 to 1998 and I think they were full-on dead -up by the end of 2000. During that final week of December, none of my former co-workers were paid and were worried that they weren’t going to get their Holiday bonuses. They were right to worry because one night the managers went in and removed the…

I once tried to eat a 12" meatball sub on the way to work, driving on Pennsylvania roads while dressed in business casual. I was removed from sales and had to inventory the warehouse for the remainder of the week. Fuck Montgomery Wards. 

In 1996, I took my entire savings ( $450) and bought my first car: a 200,000 mile 1985 Ford Escort EXP with a leaky head gasket and a JVC head unit. My friends older brother* told me the best way to make my car go faster was to remove all of the “unnecessary” interior parts. So a young Cavey proceeded to strip the…

Wisconsin would get a vote but Scott Walker’s took it with him when he moved out.

That’s just the type of line that I would expect Anthony Weiner to open with. 

The best tweet this weekend:

I bet it was more of a stream than a leak or a trickle.

Apparently nothing that requires Xbox Live.

An 11-year old with ADD and dementia. 

Must be an Alabama fan.

I was honored for about 2 seconds but getting a racist troll to spam me is a bit of an accomplishment too.

Joe Paterno: America’s first Jody.

So when will this Faux blonde, Faux personality ask Lindsey Graham the same types of loaded questions?

It was supposed to be “Lose 50 pounds via very loose stools or are dead”