Can I come to the wedding?
I wont have the soup though.

The closest thing I have to moral superiority is how I feel superior to those shitty annoying vegetarians that think everything in the world revolves around their diet and the world should follow suit.
Eat meat, don’t eat meat, I don’t give a fuck what anyone else does.

Beiber has a neck tattoo? Horglblorglyblorg

Im pretty strict on myself (potato shame not withstanding) but this doesnt really appall or naueseate me. You can’t police what other people eat, and its easy to understand that other people are human and have urges.
In short, don’t let other peoples eating habits fill you with pointless disgust.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

LOOK, OK. SO. It was a bucks night, alright, and all they bought was ribs. And I was friggin trashed, cos thats really not my scene. And the ribs came with potatoes, and I was just dipping the potatoes in the rib sauce and juices oh god it was so good and i felt so sick the next day and I’ve never told anyone this,…

We need that footage, imagine what we can do with it.

Im going to be honest with you here Friend. That’s pretty fucking badass.

Oh I love a happy ending. :)

Ergh, I wanna be Ellen Page’s girlfriend!

If you have to try to explain your troll more than once, it's obviously not working out. 2/10. Take some time off, and try again later.

I want to live in a world where this situation seems so bad to me that I’m outraged.

The sad face makes this.

I was with you until you denied the existance of the loch ness monster. It was at this point I realised this article was comissioned by the government to keep cryptozoological life under wraps,

Makes sense, cornflakes are basically the abstinence of the cereal world.

I don’t know what’s sadder. The typo, or people flapping and squawking around the typo like it’s actually in any way important.

Puppet-Noir, Mid-Sized Car.

I don’t know what I just watched but is there someone I can pay to unwatch it for me?