I drink his tears. But only because they’re perfectly pH balanced to my body’s chakra and infused with minerals and a lemon flavor.

Tom Brady: somehow the one white guy on the Pats who *can’t* catch a pass

And yet he still threw for 505 yards and 3 TDs without Cooks for most of the game and the Pats didn’t punt once, derp pics and all.

Possibly the whitest white guy to ever white guy.

The original is better

I grew up in Texas and still don’t understand this take. Please add pinto, kidney, and black beans (drained and rinsed, of course) to your chili, people. Chili without beans is a condiment that kids put on their hotdogs.

I use at least three varieties of bean. Your sensibilities can go pound sand.

what? are you feeling ok?

You need to stop insisting on shallots as restaurant’s secret ingredients. It is butter, butter, and more butter.

Mocking Alex is the best Alex.

Final Jeopardy should have been “Name a football team. Any team, and you will win.”

Ryan’s got an excuse, at least. There’s no time to learn about football when all you do is get laid.

This perfectly encapsulates almost every game of PUBG i play on PC currently. every game i run into people with rapid fire/no recoil, or just straight up wallhacks. It is less egregious in FPP but you still run into people with rapid fire/no recoil macros that will cause you to lose gunfights

quit screaming asshole

he pleads not ghillie.

Damn cheaters can go eat shit and die. I was killed last night by some dill hole who found a way to get inside some rock geo and proceeded to kill me and my team from with in a giant rock.

I mean, to be fair, this is the first time Minnesotta has ever hosted a super bowl (I think). These women knew that, and chose to hold their press conference any way. They could have held it two weeks ago, and the press would have been there. They could have held it in a week and a half, and the press would have been…

She doesn’t fly commercial.

Those falcons should just fly there themselves. Lazy bastards.