I think the perceived dependence (both financially and emotionally) is part of the abuse cycle. My mom was in an emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship for years and a lot of times it felt like she stayed because she never really worked and he made all the money (as a judgmental teenage outsider). However,…

That you know of...

I don't see how any of this matters. He might not have been an abusive boyfriend at one point, but he is now. And now this man, who clearly can't control his own anger, will be sitting at home with his wife, unemployed and despondent, and without the outlet of football into which to direct his energy. I wonder how…

I lived with my friend for two years, 1.5 of which she was in an abusive relationship, and while I knew her boyfriend was emotionally abusive and helped her get out, I didn't know he was physically abusive until well after their relationship, when she felt safe enough to tell me. I was in the house when he hit her…

First, I find that hard to believe based on the way he acted in the elevator. His body language is not what you would expect from someone who was shocked by what he had just done to his partner.

And you don't wanna hear about the DV case where the court recessed so that the couple in question could go get a marriage license, and then came back and the judge married them, made a joke about how he couldn't sentence in other case but (in) effect sentenced the guy to life anyway (ol' ball and chain, ya know?…

So what happened to him that he went from loving, compassionate, non-violent partner to someone who lies in wait for his partner to walk by, spit in her face, follow her into an enclosed area, pound her unconscious and then drag her around on the floor?

For most decent human beings, that's a line that NEVER gets…

Bullshit. If he'd never hit her before, he would've reacted to the fact that he knocked her unconscious like, I don't know, a man who had never punched his girlfriend would react. Not stand there like it was nbd, kick her legs out of the way of the door, and then drag her around like a sack of fucking potatoes.

Re-posted from a response of mine to an article on DeadSpin, w/ edits:

I just want to say that I agree with everything you've said, except there's gotta be a better way to acknowledge that abuse victims are often severely financially dependent on their abusers, without saying that they're staying for the money.

There are a multitude of excruciating factors that make leaving damn near…

Wow. For a guy who doesn't have some serious issues with how he treats women, he sure seemed non-plussed after knocking her out with one punch.

"A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing it. I don't know how they...how do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to women than men? We're the number one threat to women.…

Step One in the abuser's playbook is to isolate the victim. (I almost said "his victim," but it's also VERY possible for a man to be the abused person in a dysfunctional relationship. See, once you've cut off someone, they have no support group. No peers. No one to run to.

Thank you for this, it is very insightful and very good work. If anything this whole incident has shed light on the largely-ignored domestic violence problem in this country.

1. Fried

This whole thing also leaves out Kim Kardashian. Like it or not, her butt has been a heavy influence on what our media perceives as sexy. She took what JLO did and amplified it.

i wont lie - she looks ridiculously amazing. not just "at her age" but at any damn age. she works hard - she exercises all the time, eats very well, doesnt drink, gets lots of sleep. and of course has the best beauticians and trainers and chefs etc.

I would very much like to know what her work out regimen is so I can confirm that it is way more effort than I'll ever be willing to put in and I should definitely just give up on exercise entirely.

Let's not jump to contusions.

"Sometimes in life, you get stabbing pains in your sides. That's probably just cramps from lack of potassium." - Ray Lewis