I'm not really a heroes kind of girl, but this man is definitely my hero.

Although the guy does sound like a supreme douche with an extra helping of douche sauce on the side, I wish we could abolish the idea of virginity being precious altogether.

Totally going to imagine this as taking place in the sequel to Mean Girls, with Amy Poehler as the mom.

We need more celebrities to speak out against GOOPY. I think Chloe Sevigny did once...

that clip was amazzzzzing

Does that include cherry coke? Then...I might be swayed...though I fear it would wind up being very Death Becomes Her.

oh, and what about pepperoni sticks? maybe i am spending too long pondering this article...

I can't believe the pictured rocket popsicle was not number one, though perhaps we need a specific popsicle ranking.