I am legitimately enjoying this ridiculous show. Emma Roberts is a flawless evil queen, and the supporting characters played by Nasim Pedrad, Niecy Nash, and Jamie Lee Curtis are fantastic.

I once hardcore flirted with a guy responding to a Craislist ad for some furniture I was selling. (Seriously it was furniture, I promise!)

Go to a dermatologist if your insurance covers it. Those little spots will be super easy for them to clear up with a topical treatment. (Speaking from experience!)

I stayed up until 2am on Monday night to read the Martian. I'm so excited.

Yessss my cat does that too! I'm mean & sometimes love poking her when she's asleep just to hear it. (Other times I can't get her to shut up with all the chirping - STOP YELLING AT ME CAT.)

I got an Ulta pencil with a gel/wax on the other end, which was ok. I used to use Gimme Brow but then lost it, so I bought the Givency eyebrow pencil. No joke, I’ve had it for 18 months and I’ve barely made a dent in it. Makes me feel better about spending $35 on a fucking eyebrow pencil, ya know? It doesn’t have a…

My favorite eyeliner is Eyeko Skinny Liquid Eyeliner — the felt tip marker is super easy to manipulate for either regular lines or cat eye. I’ve been out for a while now but with fall/winter coming, I need to get a new one!

Ok so I’ve been waiting to share my shame publicly and now feels as good a time as any: I don’t remember the last time I washed any of my makeup brushes. Meaning, it’s probably been years, and the only reason I’ve probably gotten away with it is because I use them sporadically, they’re high quality (mostly MAC), and I…

If you have an iPhone, you can get around this by adding a contact in your phone: first name Fuck, last names Fucked, company name Fucking. (Might work for android too, worth a try.)

My boyfriends twitter “rant” about this perfectly explains my thoughts.

I had the same thought about Trevor & Larry. I had to go looking for them before I realized they were there. This picture could honestly be any corporate boardroom in America. Snooooooze.

Another one... The summer I graduated from high school my boyfriend started his “plebe summer” at the naval academy. No communication allowed except letters for 6 weeks or something, which was understandably devastating for two 18 year olds in ~*LoVe*~. His parents generously invited me with them to Annapolis for the…

I peed in a bush... a few times... next to the Eiffel Tower. It was late & we were drinking super shitty rose that people sell for 5€ in the park. When you're tipsy & have a small bladder, you gotta do some things that give Americans a horrible reputation in a chic city like Paris. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I would like for those people to name the founding fathers for me. If they can name me one founding father, I’ll stop arguing. But $10 says they think Jesus is one of them. These people have never heard of the federalist papers, they have bastardized the separation of church & state (one of the pillars of the founding…

Those are *catholics*, though. This rabid strain of evangelism seems to be uniquely American.

I’m probably one of them, but I certainly didn’t do it on my own. I dont have student loans & I had a grandfather who left me some money in his will that allowed me to move out on my own & furnish my first apartment while job hunting for 3 months. Meanwhile my partner has six figures of student loan debt & helps take…

She has also decided that she would rather go to jail than *resign* from her job, which just blows my mind. As Dan Savage said, she’s in it for that “sweet, sweet bigot money”.

Oh Brian Grasso, you don’t know it yet but you are going to come out of college a changed man...

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that this didn’t take place in the US. You just know Florida would do something like this.

I did the same thing she did — I was 18 & a 36FF and my chest felt out of control too. I got a reduction and went down to a 36D and I couldn’t have been happier. I would have gone smaller too but my plastic surgeon wanted to make sure I stayed proportionate to my body.