i have done a billion fucking dumb shit things but i just wanna start with the fact that i have cut myself pretty excellently with a plastic butter knife.

I want a thermos with "I have an educational blog" printed on it. I feel like that would get me as close as I can get to greatness.

A cat would never sleep in a bed that was bought for them!

Our cat does. He has peed on every bed he has had. And eventually every box we give him.

Are you seriously the Cat Stealing Dog Bed Truther right now? Were all the conspiracy theories about chemtrails and the Lizard People taken up before you got here?

A cat would never consent to being dragged around like that by a human for funsies, he put up with it purely to fuck with that puppy.

I think we may share a mom.

It's working pretty well for me (-20lbs since late October). I don't know what it is, but the patented Points equation has some kind of magic in it. If you follow the program, you will lose weight. I'm not a fan of diets, but WW is generally quite sane and effective. Having to calculate Points for everything I eat…

It was the meetings that really helped me out. I would have kept going but the area I moved to didn't have any. :-(

Ummm... I was kicked out of Brownies. For starting a protest. And accused of attempted arson during said protest. Does that count as quitting?

I quit Girl Scouts after the first meeting because I found out they didn't serve cookies at every session. WHAT THE HELL, GIRLS SCOUTS.

I quit Girl Scouts when they started giving me the cold shoulder for a perfectly legitimate question- Do I have to say "grace?" Because I don't believe in God. I thought Carolyn's mom was going to snatch the cookie right out of my hands.

Agreed. I'd go as far as to say its sometimes TOO effective. I had a friend in college that lost 150lbs, which was awesome, but then she kept dropping and dropping.

For me the points system helps me make good food choices in a way that calorie counting doesn't. I eat more protein and fiber on WW.

If we're going back to our first "quits," I quit Brownies in kindergarten because I wanted to take a drama class. I was an odd child.

In terms of clothing, this would be considered affordable by fashion standards. My shirts come from Alfani's every day collection ($7.98) and my pants come from Costco so I also wouldn't be able to buy this dress (no matter how good I would look in it) (very, very good, TBH.)

You seem fun.

This was not an art museum and the event was held in a hall without any works on display. I was far from being the most unruly person there or the only person with a stain-making beverage. I do understand why I was escorted off the premises (stealing is stealing, of course). I just still happen to think the whole…

The worst part is - I'm not even convinced it was Ocean Spray. I was likely assaulted over off-brand juice.

When I was in high school I had knee surgery on December 26 and the combination of immobility and hydrocodone made me super constipated and my mom had to give me an enema. At age 18. Worst NYE of my life.