All that effort wasted... Could have done something worthy, like:

I’m making biscuit/cornmeal/bacon/cheese stuffing this year!

No way. Those super cheap cherry pies where it’s basically jelly on a shitty under cooked crust. Or pecan pie. That is inedible. Way too fucking dense.

1. Pumpkin pie is delicious.

Bees are generally better, behaviour-wise. Wasps are the true dicks, and seem to get up in one’s business more than bees. Bumblebees are adorable klutzes who get themselves into situations where they knock themselves out and I have to rescue their fuzzy, non-aggressive asses. Just my own observation of the local…

I can’t even handle a bee in my car. Small spiders are fine, they’re tiny and whatever. Something that big though? I’d be dead.

I guarantee you she is scared of bears in America. I’m an American ex-pat in Australia, and when I say that everything here wants to kill you, the standard Aussie reply is, “Yeah, but you guys have bears in America.” I think they think bears are just roaming our streets.

I met an Aussie couple in Cancun in September. I told the woman I didn’t want to go to Australia because everything wants to kill you. She laughed about the silly way Australia is portrayed in the U.S. but I see the truth.

These guys are pretty harmless. I’d be more worried about the poisonous spiders like the redbacks and funnel webs. Not to mention all the other homicidal creatures, like snakes, jellyfish, sharks and crocodiles...

hey friend. quick reminder that submissions for stories that will haunt me for the rest of my days closed LAST MONTH so you can just suck that terror right back from out my head, thanks.

This is why I am NEVER going to Australia! Every time I see a news story about spiders it is always Australia. No thanks, mate!

The worst part is you have a screaming snake.

You do get used to huntsman spiders sneaking into the house through the year (especially when our three cats are pretty good at making sure said spider becomes a toy/snack pretty quickly), but I can’t imagine ever becoming accustomed to one inside the car (hasn’t happened to me yet - if/when it does, you’ll hear my…

There’s a reason you’re spending Thanksgiving alone.

It was as scared as I was. The worst part was how it ran up and around the walls getting back to the bathroom. Vertical was no issue. Sideways was no issue. It was clear it could go wherever it wanted.

The snake screams??? The SNAKE SCREAMS????????!!!

Not in Australia and not a spider BUT coming back to where you thought you left a creepy crawly: Several years ago on the 4th of July my younger son came out of the bathroom and announced “There’s a snake behind the toilet”

Now THAT is disturbing.

NO.

Australia: where everything is trying to kill you.