Wait. Taco Bell isn’t high quality?

Eh...build up your immunity! If we are too sanitary a sneeze from a Malasian guy will wipe out 1/2 of the US population.

I mean, just avoid fast food altogether. I worked at McDonald’s when I was a teen. How clean and sanitary do you think a restaurant staffed by teens who hate their jobs will be? I would say if you must eat fast food, it’s actually better to go during peak hours, because all (at least) most of the food will have been…

And don’t request lemon wedges. They’re usually never rinsed first, and they’re cut in a hurry by wait staff on questionable surfaces.

The hotel gets to keep the arrested guy’s money, steal his belongings, reset the room and rent it out again. It’s a profitable system until there’s no more guests to report. 

Wow neighbors turning neighbors in. Where have I seen this before..hmmm

I think people will get a lot of mileage out of this image.

I am shocked, shocked, that those who scream the loudest about illegal immigration are also the ones who make a killing off the backs of undocumented laborers.

They will until they’re injured at the workplace. Then they’d rather have them deporter, rather than pay workmen’s comp.

The front desk clerks are probably members of the Sheriff Arpaio fan club.

I’ll never stay at a Motel 6 again. Not that they are every anyone’s first choice.

Racism?

you’re still mad at your ex girlfriend’s dildo, i see. was it bigger than you or something? get over it, bro. you’re salty all over the comments on this article, it’s a bad look.

ALL cats have to visit their humans in the bathroom. It's an eternal mystery why.

omg my dog is SO INTO being in the bathroom with me. if i kinda close the door over she BARGES in (she's really into BARGING in to wherever i am) but she gets there and is like :DDDDDDD WE'RE TOGETHER IN THE SAME ROOM!!!! and i am like, we were just together in the same room a second ago.

idk i think peegasms* are better

Now that I am pregnant, I have come to realize that pooping is a privilege, not a right. A privilege I foolishly took for granted for so long. Now, on the rare occasions I am actually able to poo, I am struck by how it is basically the greatest thing ever.

I consider each and every one of you a dear friend, so just between us: Is there anything better than a really awesome poo?

I mean, unless I got somewhere to go, I kinda like taking leisurely poops. Gives me some time to read and think without interruption. How much time do we get anymore where NO ONE is allowed to bother us? If the SO comes looking for me all I have to do is yell, "I'M POOPING. GEEZ." And he'll scuttle away with whatever…

¯\_(ツ)_/¯