Totally. While $2M is great, it's not buy-all-of-your-family-members-houses-and-do-nothing-for-the-rest-of-your-life money. But I have some family members (only a few, thankfully) that would kind of think that. Nope, I would very quietly sneak off with that money and help my mom and sister, after they signed a…

I think that's prohibited by the idea of "third parties" claiming the prize, mentioned above, no?

It is almost never an option. Publically releasing the names of winners is an anti-fraud measure.

I basically think that a black person could find a cure for all cancers while simultaneously negotiating lasting peace in the Middle East and the people of north-central PA would be like, "yeah, but his mom was probably on welfare and he got his medical degree because of affirmative action which is REVERSE…

Wait, there's racist shit related to the single mom with a child with a disability. Please tell me this isn't true. :( My friends must be still sleeping bc I have yet to see anything.

One of my cousins won the lottery in my state. Not as big, but two million or something like that. We were at a family party, just talking, and a friend of hers said, "Did you tell them?!? Dude, she won the lottery!" I could see she was embarrassed, so as soon as I congratulated her, I told her that I completely…

FUCK YES THIS IS WONDERFUL

And now for all the family members who clearly didn't lend a helping hand when she needed to quit her two jobs to show up and remind her of that-thing-they-did-that-one-time.

Sometimes the universe isn't a complete fuck up

Aw, this is fabulous! I hope she gets herself something nice too, because honestly—was she chosen as a POSTER CHILD for cliche, shitty jobs? Like, she works at McDonalds: ok. She works at Walmart: ok.

BUT BOTH?

Girl. You deserve every cent of that. Every GD cent.

Sometimes it takes the glimpse of how ridiculously happy you can be to walk away from how miserable you are.

Sometimes it's not clear just how bad your relationship is until you experience something more normal. That can be a huge wake up call.

Especially since the government is finally walking back the horrible eating fat makes you fat and eating cholesterol makes you have high cholesterol advice, because it turned out it had no basis in facts and was not supported by the data they had at the time they made the recommendations in the 70s.

Strange Synthetic Almond Liquid, you mean.

I drink the shit out some milk and love it. 3 glasses a day, homie.

I wish there was a way that I could prominently display this GIF every time my step-mother-in-law tells me how gluten and caffeine are bad and eastern medicine is good.

Rebuttal: as stated already, lactose intolerance prevalence differs based on ethnicity. Using Asians or Africans to dictate the diets of Northern Europeans (who are largely NOT lactose intolerant) ignores the diversity of human evolution and cultural development. Natural selection shaming, Jezebel? Do you know no…

I love milk. I've never had cramps, bloating or the shits from it. Have drunk skim or one percent from childhood. And I don't drink coffee, tea or alcohol so FUCK THE HATERS.

Correct. Adults should be drinking hot chocolate topped with whipped cream. With marshmallows.

Counterpoint: Milk is delicious.