I wonder if you can swap out the batteries and get a better range. I'd buy something like this as a second vehicle if I could get at least 200 miles out of it. 

A buddy of mine was a long haul truck driver. Years ago he told me that he was pulling into a highway rest stop and he saw a trailer with its doors wide open and one dude inside tossing frozen meat into the back of a pickup.

This is what happens when you don't teach your children to be empathetic.  He has no concept of accepting responsibility.  He cannot imagine any situation that has him failing.  Even situations that have passed. 

I was at the MIA a couple months ago.

Maybe people don't want a cup of Joe when ¾ of the country is on fire. 

Delete it? No. You have an Only Fans right there. 

Today  I learned that I'm technically a criminal in Chicago.  

Just go to Starbucks and be one of those people that the baristas hate. 

Yet another reason not to answer my phone.  I got drunk a decade ago at an Applebee's and jokingly filled out an application.  

On the plus side,  they're edible.  

It’s like suing a Denny’s because the grand slam gave a guy enough energy to commit a mass shooting.

There was a gas station by my old work that made their sandwiches fresh every morning. Every day they had a special hot sandwich (like a meat loaf or a sloppy joe) for cheap.  Nothing was over $5. 

They still have a floor. A bed is only one option.

I'll wait until it's released, and I've read some reviews.  

Better choice of sides. At least you’re not paying $2 for a $1 bag of chips.

It made for a rather funny and lighthearted episode of Behind the Bastards. https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/part-one-the-idiot-who-made-54136534/

I have pretty much forgotten about Subway.  They've become extremely mediocre.  Basically gas station sandwich territory.  I have far too many choices to settle on Subway.  

The obvious solution is to wedge a stick of butter into the register.,

My cousin is a firefighter. Last summer they got a call for a vehicle inside a house. A bunch of teens were driving around, smoking weed in one kid’s dad’s car. A cop tried to pull them over for speeding and they took off. Blew through a stop sign and right into a townhouse.

In a surprise twist,  it turns out that God was also drunk.