It was a joke that only one person seems to have gotten. Everybody knows babies are born with sight and then they lose their ability to see spirits when they learn to talk.
I have a theory about people who become wildly successful/famous on the level that Steve has achieved: their relationship with their past, pre-fame and success, is an either or proposition. Either they embrace it. Or they shed it like a snake sheds its skin, leaving it in the middle of the road, to dry up and blow…
Videogame development in a big, harsh, rotten nutshell:
People are always telling me my cat is fat, and I am always honestly replying that he's mostly just big-boned (mostly because he is, after all, a housecat and he's always had a little belly that swings when he runs). Once, when I said this, a super bitchy former friend of mine said, "God, I feel sorry for your future…
None of my neighbors walk their dogs. It's really weird. My dog is an destructive maniac if she doesn't get an hour walk in everyday. I don't understand how these people straight up don't exercise their dogs. Why even get a pet if you are going to be uninvolved?
So my children will have home made clothes, moderately expensive food and will go ape-shit for cheese.
This is like if Wes Anderson did a remake of The Burbs - I love it!!
I love this!
I used to be in love with Teddy Ruxpin when I was a kid, because I thought he had a sexy voice. I don't even know how I knew what 'sexy' was, but there you have it. I later broke up with him to date Raphael from the Ninja Turtles.
I wish I could say they were my first cartoon boyfriends, but sadly,…
When I was in second grade, I got in trouble for writing an essay declaring that I wanted to be a bond girl when I grew up. I thought it was a fabulous career choice because they wore pretty clothes , drove nice cars and got to smooch Bond. Unfortunately, the nuns and faculty at my Catholic school didn't agree and…
Second grade. There was this big stack of colored paper and a large open window so I grabbed most of the stack and tossed it out the window, watching the courtyard updrafts make it float beautifully away, like large colored confetti (think: the plastic bag in American Beauty). Don't remember the reprisal although it…
I (and my best friend, but it was my idea) dragged a wagonload of rocks from my gravel driveway around our neighborhood, selling them door to door. Because we were little (about four) and cute, we made like $5, which in 1975 was really good money for a preschooler.
When I was seven, I got a book on how babies are made. It talked about eggs, sperm, fertilization, and prenatal development (but completely left out all mention of sex.) I with my mom at a Korean grocery and stumbled upon the alfafa sprouts at the salad bar. My mom was waiting on line when I gasped shouted clear…
As a seven year old, I raided the kitchen for my art supplies. I took some herbs, green food coloring, lemon juice, and turmeric powder to create this. My dad was so angry at me for destroying the kitchen and geting half the spice cabinet all over the floor, but he took this, and he framed it because he thought it was…
I had a weird obsession with cannibalism. For my 4th grade enrichment class I built a large papier mâché island featuring a volcano, trees, caves, essential cooking pot and cannibal play figures. I wish I had a picture of that. Instead I offer the Mother's Day card I made that year. Mum still has it. I can't believe…
I was 8 years old when I went into my parent's bedroom one morning while my parents were still asleep and saw my Dad had a boner. I totally freaked out, woke my Mom up by dragging her out of the bed, and called 911 because I thought it was a chestburster from Aliens.
Peace between the teams
Husband popped out and grabbed some flowers for me this morning when I wasn't paying attention. ("Hm, I wonder what Husband is up to? He's awfully quiet..." No shit, he was at the flower shop, dummy). He walked in with a big bouquet, and it was the most wonderful thing because I fucking LOVE flowers, but we've been to…