fuck this " whales and hippos " shit, its lame .

On Monday's episode, Catanzaro, a former gymnast from Towson University, succeeded all over the place

Big Boo would like these... #peanutbutter

Earth Girls Are Easy should be included in the Criterion Collection, in all honesty. "'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeaahhh, YEAH!"

A little man slaps a big man in the face. The big man beats him to a bloody pulp with a crowbar, then beats up anyone standing near him, then complains to sympathetic bystanders about how much his face hurts now.

Captain Marvel movie. Captain Marvel movie. CAPTAIN MARVEL MOVIE, DAMMIT.

Seriously. And if she did go out with him and inevitably found herself in an abusive relationship with him, the same assholes ask "why didn't she just leave him?"

It is not fair to judge someone without really getting to know them, but I can very confidently say that if I ever met someone who said they didn't like Dolly Parton I would know pretty much I would want nothing to do with them. Luckily I have never met anyone who doesn't like Dolly Parton.

In my day, it was considered ill-mannered to wear a white woman after Labor Day...

I'm pretty sure Mayor McCheese is the only one in McDonaldland with the authority to officiate weddings.

"Have I told you the one about my penis? Oh, never mind, it's too long,"

I thought maybe people were doing shadow puppet weddings (like Indonesian shadow puppets) ...and I thought that was actually kind of cool.

"The snide comments and casual racism here is just ridiculous."

Congratulations. Emily is gonna grow up to be literally the worst.

Yeah but Isha when Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down the pirates don’t eat the tourists.

"(She was Jewish.)"

No, I win. Nope. Nope nope. I win. Okay. Here goes. It's long but (I think) it's worth it.

Time to call Jackson!

There is only one worthy Reality Competition program, and that program is called RuPaul's Drag Race. Everyone else can sashay away.

So You Think You Can Dance is a really good show. Not every routine is wonderful, but the ones that are good are truly beautiful.