I think the point is that everyone knows he didn’t need to do this to win Super Bowl(s), and now because it looks like he cheated (unnecessarily) and lied (most definitively), this stigma will last with him forever no matter what happens going forward. This will show up somewhere in the first paragraph of every single…

On the plus side, the Atlanta Falcons drafted Vic Beasley at #8. A 6’3, 246 lb edge rusher who runs the 40 in 4.5 seconds whose job will be to knock the crap out of Winston twice a year.

Why couldn’t HE have torn his ACL in the first 5 minutes of practice?

Please let this be for Brady what gambling was for Pete Rose.

After reading this, I’m going to go out on a limb and say the phantom “issues” are psychological.

I’d have no trouble drafting La’el. I mean, our yellow sun’s radiation must make him one hell of a lineman.

“It’s not so much the murder that we have a problem with, it’s the decision making. If he’s going to kill someone right before the draft, when he knows we’re all watching him, what does that say about him? How do I know he won’t kill someone on game day, or the morning of a walk through?” —NFL GM

Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that it’s fine if women want to focus on this aspect of La’el Collins’ life. I GET THAT. AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT. But at the end of the day, I’m a football fan, and we want to see great players be great and that’s what I’m concerned with.

you do realize it doesn't take that long...we are just avoiding doing all sorts of other tasks...smart phones/tablets have only made this 10x worse.

Well, at least he isn’t a dog murderer..

How fucking hilarious and original.

On a related note, what he hell is with people having to celebrate every birthday a kid has? I have six nephews and nieces between my two sisters — while I have a dog. Every fucking birthday, I have to go to someone's house (or God, worse, go out to a restaurant, where my sisters let the kids scream and climb under…

2014: NFL suspends Gordon 10 games

Ian O'Connor says it perfectly in an espn article: "This isn't about whether the Patriots needed to cheat. This is only about whether they did cheat." So stop with the mentioning of the bullshit argument it wouldn't have mattered. That is not the issue.

I feel like the appropriate response would be Lowery kicking him in the balls and raising his arms to signal a good kick.

Not sure about sheep, but I bet he would trade pretty much anything for a calf.

Having grown up on the water in Miami, it's pretty obvious you haven't spent much time on boats. How did he know how far out he was? Hilarious.

I can't figure out the tone or motivation of this column.

Root-canal guy is only singing to distract you from the fact that he is grinding his boner into your laughing-gassed hand.