Awwww, well pretty much all naturally fat people can't model so it's not like discrimination based on body type is a foreign concept to the industry.

Anything below BMI 18.5 is considered dangerously low. 18 as a cutoff is pretty generous.

Things I have learned:
1. I never got the memo of the standard mattress check, and now I'm terrified at what syringes and other craziness I have missed out on.
2. I would absolutely be lured outside and robbed and murdered at 2a in a motel parking lot.

HAHA 25 year old me still looks like a lumpy potato

Hell yes.

On Kroll Show, Dr. Armond (a dog plastic surgeon) is best friends with Kelsey Grammer.
It must somehow be a reference to this, right? hah

Bish you know this is the real you:

Actual photo of me:

Tell Nev that you won't punch him if he punches Adam. Nev sucks, he will definitely punch somebody else to save his own face.

Situation: You are trapped in a room with Nev Schulman and Adam Levine. You can only punch one of them. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Dontcha just love when you're out and about living your life, and all of a sudden your brain's like, "Hey. Remember that time you got absolutely shitfaced at your dad's wedding and had to be taken home early? That was pretty awful. You should feel ashamed about it Right. Now."

ideal celebrity couple : Leonardo DiCaprio + Kris Jenner

Right?! It's so strange too. If you like Tom Waits enough to want to cover an entire album of his music than you should know better. I feel the same way about Nina Simone. Just shut it down and go home. It was prefect the first time.

" ... so when Carell (who was up for best actor for his role as Michael Scarn in Threat level Midnight) ..."

Scottish stuff, ranked:

Dear Football Players of Auburn College (not all of you, but the ones I'm addressing know who you are),

Seriously. He looked like he was going to pass out from sheer joy, and that makes me like him.

All I can think now is how much better "Take Me to Church" would be if it were a Eurythmics song.

A little bit of Annie goes a long way for us mere mortals. Anything more than that and we will all explode.